I'm a patriot so I know how to tell who else is, my dog, my brother, my dad, Dick Cheney...well hell I'll just give ya my method of determination.

Hi, my name is George Dubbya Bush, and I'd like to clear up this whole mess about who's patriotic and who isn't.

1. If you go to war for America, your patriotic.
2. If you don't like war, your un-patriotic, or French.
3. If you die for this country, your patriotic.
4. If you go to war for America but didn't like the war, your a dirty traitor.
5. If you like the war but didn't go, your either a baptist inbred, or your one rich S.O.B.
6. If you die for this country but then your mommy gets mad and starts yelling at me all the time, your an asshole.
7. Oh yeah, and if by chance you believe everyone has the right to health-care regardless of how rich their daddy's are, then you're a dirty pinko swine that hates freedom, freedom fries, freedom tater tots, and freedom pie.
one more thing; if you're Michael Moore, I just got a call from enemy and the enemy said thanks for embolded ning him. Way to go Mike, he was bold and now he's em-bold-ed. You're pouring water on a gremlin and feeding him after midnight while the old man at the shop strictly prohibited that sort of thing. Hell between you Colbert, Stewart, Black, and that Bono guy, the enemy will have the strength of Captain Planet by this time next week, how in the fuck do you expect me to deal with Captain Planet!!
....Hmm, maybe I'd better call Al Gore.